Building While Broken - How I Started a Business and a Nonprofit While Healing From Abuse

*Part 4 of the Still Here series - For the Women Who Survived and Are Figuring Out What Comes Next*

I want to tell you something about the timeline.

Because I think the way we talk about rebuilding after abuse sets people up to wait longer than they have to.

The story usually goes like this:

She survived. She healed. Then she built something.

Clean. Sequential. One stage completing before the next one begins.

That is not what happened for me.

I did not heal first and then build.

I built while I was healing.

Messy. Nonlinear. Anxiety-filled building on days when I still did not fully believe I could do it.

And I want to tell you about that, because I think the messy version is more useful to you than the clean one.

**What retired into**

After 20 years as a Chief of Staff in the federal government, I retired.

And instead of collapsing into the quiet, which would have been completely understandable, I looked at that open space and felt something I had not felt in a long time.

Possibility.

Not because everything was healed. Not because I had it all figured out. But because for the first time in years, the time was mine. And I was not willing to let what had happened to me be the thing that decided what I did with it.

I had a daughter watching.

I wanted her to see what was possible on the other side of something that had tried to take everything.

So I started.

**What building while healing actually looked like**

It did not look like the highlight reel.

It looked like launching a consulting practice on a day I almost did not get out of bed.

It looked like writing the mission for Voice After Violence while my hands were shaking.

It looked like showing up for things I had committed to even when my nervous system was screaming that I could not.

It looked like days of real progress followed by days where I could not make a single decision.

It looked like telling my daughter and saying I do not know if I can do this and then doing it anyway.

There was no moment where I felt ready.

Ready is not a feeling that arrives before you start.

It arrives after.

You do not build because you feel capable.

You feel capable because you built something.

That sequence is important.

**What I built**

I launched a business operations consulting practice drawing on 20 years of experience as a Chief of Staff.

I founded Voice After Violence, a nonprofit for women who have left abusive relationships.

Court advocacy for women navigating the legal system alone.

Basic supplies for women starting from nothing.

I built this Substack. This community. This series.

None of it was built all at once. None of it was built without fear. None of it was built from a place of feeling fully healed.

All of it was built by a woman who decided that what had happened to her was not going to be the last chapter.

**Why you do not have to wait until you are healed**

I am not telling you to push through your healing.

I am not telling you to ignore what your body needs.

I am not telling you that hustle will heal you.

What I am telling you is this:

For some of us, building something is part of the healing.

Not because success fixes trauma.

But because creating something proves to your nervous system that you are still capable. That you are still here. That what happened to you did not take everything.

Every time I showed up for something I had built, my nervous system got a little more evidence that I was okay. That I could be trusted. That I was capable of more than surviving.

That evidence accumulated.

And eventually it became something I could stand on.

**What you are building does not have to be big**

You do not have to start a nonprofit.

You do not have to launch a business.

You do not have to do anything that looks impressive from the outside.

But you do need something that is yours.

Something you are creating or growing or working toward that belongs completely to you.

Something nobody gave you permission to build and nobody can take away.

Maybe it is this Substack you have been thinking about starting.

Maybe it is the business idea you have been carrying for years.

Maybe it is the creative project you set aside when the relationship took over.

Maybe it is something smaller. A garden. A skill. A practice.

The size does not matter.

What matters is that it is yours.

And that you start.

**What starting actually looks like**

Start smaller than you think you should.

One step. One decision. One thing done today that did not exist yesterday.

Keep your word to yourself more than you keep it to anyone else.

On the hard days, do the smallest possible version of the thing.

Let the messy version count.

Let the shaking hands version count.

Let the I-almost-did-not-show-up version count.

Because the woman who showed up on the hardest day is building something more durable than the woman who only shows up when it is easy.

You are that woman.

You have always been that woman.

Now you get to build something that proves it.

---

About Rebecca

I am a survivor, a former federal Chief of Staff with 20 years of experience, and the founder of Voice After Violence, a nonprofit mission dedicated to providing resources and support for women rebuilding after abuse. I write about survival, healing, and what rebuilding actually looks like from the inside. This Substack exists because every woman deserves a space where she is believed.

**If you or someone you know needs support:**

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Call or text 1-800-799-7233

Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

thehotline.org

Voice After Violence Community

Search for Voice After Violence on Facebook to find our page and request access to our private support group for women rebuilding after abuse.

---

**Next in the series: Why I Built Voice After Violence — Creating Resources for Women Rebuilding After Leaving an Abusive Relationship**